Who vs. Whom: Enduring Confusion in Modern Sentences

In writing, you might want your character to text a friend about that new colleague who aced the pitch meeting. “Who should we invite to the team happy hour?” your character asked. Or is it “whom”? Delete. Rewrite. Send a simple message instead.

Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko

Sound familiar? This tiny word choice confuses writers from high school essays to corporate emails. This partners (who and whom) still lurk, ready to undermine your credibility.

The mix-up stems from old English rules clashing with how we talk today. “Who” acts as a subject, the doer of the action. It is the pitcher on the mound, hurling the ball. “Whom” takes the object role, receiving the action like the catcher grabbing the pitch. That Americana baseball metaphor grounds it. Americans love clear plays, no strikes on technicalities.

TME will give this quick tip: Swap in “he” or “him.” If “he” fits, use “who.” If “him” works, pick “whom.” Example: “Who ate the last donut?” (He ate it.) Versus “To whom did you give the last donut?” (You gave it to him.) Simple swap, instant clarity.

Sometimes authors dodge “whom” because it sounds stuffy. Mark Twain nailed this in his essay “Fenimore Cooper’s Literary Offenses.” He mocked overly formal prose, writing, “When a person cannot deceive himself, the chances are against his being able to deceive other people.”

Swap “who” for “whom” blindly, and you deceive no one except yourself. Twain pushed plain talk. Use “who” in casual sentences unless you need better clarity in your writing.

Let’s break it down further with real-world fixes. In questions, “who” leads most naturally. “Who won the award?” Flip to statement form for confirmation: “She won the award.” He/she test passes for “who.” Direct objects flip the script. “The award went to whom?” becomes “The award went to her.” Cue “whom.” Easy, right?

Here’s a word of advice from the great Margaret Atwood, “If you get stuck, get away from your desk. Take a walk, take a bath, go to sleep, make a pie, draw, listen to music, meditate, exercise; whatever you do, don’t just stay there scowling at the problem.” Step back from who/whom woes. Walk the bases like a savvy shortstop. Test your sentence aloud.

Take a short quiz for mastery: Who vs. Whom

1. _ is coming to the meeting tonight?

A. Who

B. Whom

2. To _ did you give the report?

A. Who

B. Whom

3. _ called you earlier?

A. Who

B. Whom

4. She is the person _ I asked for help.

A. Who

B. Whom

5. With _ are you traveling?

A. Who

B. Whom

Answer Key

A. Who

B. Whom

A. Who

B. Whom

B. Whom

Ready to level-up your manuscript? We’re here to help. Send your manuscript to themanuscripteditor.com for a complimentary 800-word sample edit.