Date Everything is Not Your Average Dating Simulator—It’s Actually Everything!

Video games are a great way to explore the weird and the wonderful. The game Date Everything helps you do just that—especially if you’re someone who’s ever thought about…well, dating everything!

Date Everything comes from the indie developers Team17, known for hits such as Overcooked!, Hell Let Loose, and Blasphemous. It is a casual simulator game where you play as a homeowner tasked to get to know the different personalities embedded in the objects around your home—and far beyond it.

This may look like a normal couch, but it could actually be your next lover!

Photo by Chait Goli on Pexels

A Dating Sandbox Unlike Any Other

The game kicks off with you starting a normal (and boring) customer service position at Valdivian. But after just one day, you are unceremoniously “put in limbo” indefinitely. That’s when a mysterious person contacts you through one of your apps, saying that they’re dropping off a piece of valuable technology at your doorstep. 

This technology is a pair of glasses that allows you to see all of the objects in your home as humans, called Dateviators. With the glasses on, you meet your first “Dateable”, Skylar, who walks you through what you have to do. 

The main goal of the game is to find and get to know all of the objects in your house. Each Dateable has their own story arc, and the deeper your relationship gets, the more of their backstory you uncover. With over 100 Dateables, each with their own storylines and outcomes (love, hate or friendship), there are thousands of possible endings, both for you and the Dateables you have to “Realize” into real people in order to finish the game.

The developers categorize Date Everything as a “sandbox” dating simulator. It really does feel like you’re playing in a sandbox as opposed to trying to complete a laundry list of tasks. The fun of the game is in the discovery of the characters and their respective arcs, some of which can get really meta. At the beginning, it’s fun to witness how the developers crafted very human stories for a bed, a door, a couch, and a fridge. They even went so far beyond to include intangible “objects” like a shadow (xxXShadowlord420Xxx), nightmare (Nightmare), and rejection (Reggie). You can even date the in-game microtransactions (Mikey Transaction), textbox (Textbox-Chan), and yes, even the developers themselves! 

A-List Voice Cast, A+ Chaos

The acting cast is stacked with familiar voices, including Felicia Day as Skylar the Dateviators, Brennan Lee Mulligan as Parker the Board Games, Matt Mercer as Chance the 20-Sided Die, Dante Basco as Dante the Fireplace, and Damien Haas as Jerry the Junk Drawer. What’s even better is that their personalities match well with the characters they voice in the game: Parker is extremely competitive and a stickler for rules, Dante is a fireplace, and Chance is a game master for the in-universe tabletop RPG game Grottos & Gargoyles (G&G). You can even see how the voice actors influenced the visual designs of their characters.

Whether you’re in it for the laughs, the lore, or just vibin’ to see what it’s like to date your existential dread, Date Everything is a game that delivers. Try it out—Lucinda Lavish (the game’s Deluxe Edition) is waiting for you. 

The game is available to play on PC, Nintendo Switch, Playstation 5, Xbox and GeForce Now.

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